How to showcase the best of UK scuba diving

Faced with the task of selecting three photos to represent underwater Britain, Kirsty Andrews aims for mass appeal.

 If you had just three pictures to demonstrate how brilliant British diving is, which pictures would you choose? 

This was the dilemma that faced me this month, as it does approximately this time every year when my club’s ‘Best of British’ photo competition rolls around. I’m quite competitive about it, it’s fair to say, as essentially, persuading others that British seas are brilliant is somewhat of a personal mission for me – you might have noticed if you’ve read a few of these columns. 

it’s got to be a crowd pleaser. I will admit that it is difficult to resist the charm of a grey seal portrait

Of course, it does depend on your audience. To my mind, there’s nothing better than an ‘ugly’ fish; the more anthropomorphic character I can project on to its features the better. Anglerfish, lumpsucker or clingfish: so hard to choose the cutest. However, I found myself talking to a non-diver the other day (out of my comfort zone there) and, viewing some of my favourite pics, she pronounced that they “gave her the ick” … more of a point-and-laugh than an admire-in-wonder. So, back to the drawing board, somewhat sheepishly. Or, maligned wolf-fishly, if you will.

Of course, brilliant British diving involves good times with our buddies, so maybe a selfie with the dive team would do it. Except in this case, there is an element of artistry required, and I always seem to have a fin out of place or bubbles in front of my face. Also, those stage bottles and ramrod-straight techie diver attitudes sported by some of my buddies just aren’t visually pleasing. Well, not to me anyway: as I say, know your audience.

I like to capture the ‘spirit of adventure’: that’s definitely a piece of the puzzle in what makes British seas great. So maybe I’ll allow a diver into the collection if they’re venturing around an awe-inspiring wreck, preferably with fish on it, looking like the world’s greatest underwater explorer. I’m at somewhat of an advantage against the more intrepid club members here as it’s difficult to communicate with pictures alone that their wreck is 65m deep, many miles offshore and involved two hours of decompression on the way up, whereas mine is the good old Persier in Bigbury Bay. Still, it looks cool though.

Also, colour is important. If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard “aren’t British seas just brown and empty”, well, I’d have much shinier dive gear and a camera that operated itself. They’re not! Well, they have been recently thanks to the local sewage pollution alerts I received – thanks, rain and water companies – but they’re not always. I like to surprise the naysayers with a burst of colour – maybe a stunning offshore reef scene or some beauty in the details of a sponge or coral. 

Time to complete the set, and it’s got to be a crowd pleaser. I will admit that it is difficult to resist the charm of a grey seal portrait. Reminding viewers of Fido back home, seals are a safe bet to woo the public. Other superstars of British diving could be a cheeky tompot blenny, a beautiful blue shark, a dazzling squid, cuttlefish or octopus – nope, seal it is. For the win. Did I choose correctly?

Article ‘You must choose wisely’ by Kirsty Andrews first published in SCUBA magazine, Issue 151 December 2024.